Unconditional Love and..."bents"

We were just discussing in bible study the other night about unconditional love, and how God freely gives us His unconditional love, His overwhelming grace...for free!! We are to receive it from God, but how well do we allow others to receive it; do we let others feel that unconditional love from Him? Do we in turn show others the unconditional love that God gives us? It has been very challenging to me, esp. thinking about how I show God's love to my own family, my husband and kids. Do I freely offer them the grace, the acceptance that God calls of me? Not as much as I should.

And yet again, when God wants to teach me something...He will pound it into me over and over! Okay God, I see this is something you really want me to grasp and learn!!

As I was reading a book this morning, sadly to say "She's Gonna Blow!" by Julie Ann Barnhill talking about anger in parenting...yes, it is a struggle ;)She was writing about our children and their "bent"...let me just rewrite how she explains it

If you've never read or studied about temperaments, this is the time to begin. Your child has a natural, God-given "bent," and a wise mother - that's you and I - will study and learn the direction that "bent" leans and focus on helping the child become who he or she was meant to be. A foolish mother disregards this biblical and bahavioral truth and suffers the consequences.

This is true for everyone in the world, but specifically everyone whom we are called to love, those who God has gifted to us and we have the privilege and responsbility to show His love to...i.e. my husband and kids specifically right now as God lays this on my heart. She continues to give examples of much grief she could've saved herself from had she embraced her kids' bents before venturing out to do something that ended poorly b/c it went against their bents. Everyone has "bents" and God-given tendencies! The more we learn about these bents, the more we will learn to love the people in our lives and appreciate who God made them to be.

Just as I am what I am, so too are my mother, father, relatives, and treasured friends, each with his or her own tendencies and leanings. This has nothing to do with one person's being more worthy of kindness or love because of particular personality traits. It is about unconditional love...and that is difficult in the best of situations. But I've found that understanding and accepting the many ways human beings can differ helps make loving them easier.

Beyond just this, understanding these tendencies that create the people who we love helps us create a more loving and less angry home and environment for them. This just really reitterated what Paul was preaching about to the Galatians and challenging them in - God has freely offered us His unconditional love & grace!! Who are we to put limits on that FREE, UNconditional LOVE & GRACE that He offers to others? We are given it and we are to extend it to others, especially those who are closest to us who we often neglect the most. I am so blessed by my family, I pray that God would help me to extend the same love and grace to them that He shows me every second of every day!

Callie turns 3! March 14, 2011

Since I vividly remember bringing Felicity home not that long ago and she's 5, the fact that Callie is now 3 blows my mind! It feels like just yesterday I was laying in the hospital watching "Regis & Kelly" waiting to be wheeled in for my c-section, which was so easy going...just like my Callie girl :) She is a snuggle bug, a lover, a kisser, a secret teller, a very silly girl! Callie adds such a different dynamic to our family - for 1, she is a mommy's girl (for the most part, but it seems to be changing) where as Felicity has always been a daddy's girl; she will fall apart at the seams if you hurt her feelings (even if just disciplining her); she is so easy to put to bed (sing her a song, say a quick prayer and get out); she wants to always be included in everything (esp. when her sister is wanting alone time). She is just such a unique, fun loving, sweet spirited character! She and Felicity are a lot alike in some ways and nothing alike in others! They are looking more and more like each other, and they are acting more and more like Sarah & I did growing up (which is not so much a good thing). I'm praying for my girls as they are growing up, that they would learn to treasure each other as friends! That is something that took my sister and I way too long to realize!

Callie took longer to start talking, but this year her vocabulary has florished! She talks too fast for her own understanding sometimes! After asking her 5 times what she has said, she finally says "oh, nevermind" with a silly grin. I'm not always so sure she actually knew what she meant. She loves making up stories when you can get her to, including lies, which I don't think she thinks are lies...they are just stories to her. She is constantly making us all laugh, like belly laughing! She says the funniest things and in the funniest mannerisms; God has put such a fun sense of humor in this little girl!

Callie Nicole Clark - Happy 3rd Birthday - may God continue to unravel all the fun intricacies of your character in this next year! We absolutely love what you bring to this family!

Felicity turns 5! March 2, 2011

It seriously feels like yesterday that we brought this cute, little, innocent baby home from the hospital and we felt like we had NO clue what to do...so 5 years later, she's a bit bigger (50 lbs and 4' tall...the exact size of Joe at his 6 yr check up), not as innocent but still so cute, and we still have NO clue what we are doing...HA! Why does having kids make time go by way faster than you want it to? The days fly by and all of a sudden you are filling out kindergarten registration packets...WHAT?! How is this my life already? I am so not prepared for this next phase; although, we are embracing it and the girls seem more than ready for the next phase of kindergarten and preschool.

I've never been good at capturing who my girls are with words, but thought I'd start now while I have the blog and Felicity just turned 5.

The best way to describe Felicity is exactly how she would want to be described...Princess :)Not only does she love ALL things girly, but she truly wants to be like a princess, proper etiquette and all. Turn on some princess (or Miley Cyrus, unfortunately) music, get her in a dress, microphone in hand and you've got her bursting at the seams. I almost wonder if she will really go into show business;I've been toying with the idea of putting her in some type of singing/choir group. She loves singing, making up songs, remembering songs...thinking that might be a good area to explore. The problem is we've explored mutliple things - ballet, gymnastics - she loves them all...and we cannot afford any ;) And as of now, "all sports are for boys" according to Felicity. That might just devastate her daddy's dreams of free college scholarships though ;)

Felicity is so inquisitive; you can no longer tell her "Just because" or "you wouldn't understand"...she wants to try to understand. She asks amazing questions! Questions that really make you, yourself, think hard! She loves going to Cubbies (awanas), loves preschool, and loves to love her sister (as well as boss her around). Felicity has such a sweet spirit, and strong willed. The last year has been a very challenging one as she discovered her will...to love, to hate, to talk back, to cherish the moments...she wills it all :) But, the past two months have been better, she is learning to think things through, not to react so quickly (gee...where does she learn to react?), go to her room withought fits of screaming rage. It is pretty impressive because I wasn't so sure that stage would end, but she, once again, amazes us! God is using her to teach us, grow us, challenge us, and remind us what God asks of us...to love others as we would like to be loved! It is something we consistently are trying to teach her, but the best way is by example and we're continusouly working on that and how to do it better. When she loves someone, it's amazing, her whole heart just shines! If only we could all be like that with all people. Again I say, God uses our kids to teach us so much!

Our prayer is that this next year, we (me specifically) get better about showing Felicity patience, allowing her to learn how to deal with her problems, and to show her and tell her every day how much we love her for who she is...she is a true gift from God and I don't think we do quite justice to taking care of this precious gift from above.

Felicity Kay Clark - Happy 5th Birthday - may God reveal Himself to you in all the little details over this next year as you try to discover who He is and who you are in Him!